An Adoption Poem – Inspired by Dr. Seuss

HOME STUDY 

Away we go…today is the day.

You sent your agency application you are on your way.

With baby dreams in your head all gooey and sappy

Your off to a far away land to become a mommy and pappy.

Dust, vacuum, shower and straighten your hair.

Your house is a haven of order and care.

Bake the brownies and calm the fear.

The social worker will soon be HERE.

Yes, you love kids, no you are never cranky.

You will feed them – they’ll never be lanky.

Outlet Plugs and fire extinguishers are over here.

Yes of we course limit our beer.

Check the box, and make your first promise mama.

Never raise your voice or feed them to a llama.

Backgrounds are clean, off to get fingerprints on file

I800a time – lines as long as a mile.

Process the homestudy – every so quickly please

So much more paperwork we need this with ease.

We ran the background check but are you sure?
You only lived in 134 states and not many more?

When you are 2 and three-quarters old,

Were you shy or angry or pleasant or bold?
Remember your own mama was she kind and fair?

More like a bunny or more like a grizzly bear?

What did you do on September 13, 1982 as a kid?

To be a fit parent you need to know what you did.

Please provide your favorite childhood snack.

Was there always enough love or did that lack?

Great news… You could probably keep a child alive.

You’re approved you for a child under 5.

No changing what you desired.

Or a supplement 3 is required.

PICKING A COUNTRY – ENTER COUNTRY PROGRAM

 Pick pick – Your child can come from any nation.

But you must fit the rules of the country’s adoption registration.

Too many kids – only China allows you to have 3.

Africa – has only 2 stable programs you see.

One of them is open, but you’ll shed a few tears,

since the wait is 345 days + 18.3 years.

You only fit the rules of EAST CATLIALIMIZOO

So that is where your child waits for you.

So with little shoes in your head, and soft bears of this foreign land.

You will enter this country’s program – homestudy in hand.

Relief the paperwork is all done.

Until the check clears, and the dossier has begun.

DOSSIER BEGINS

We need documents of where you were born.

And OH yes…where were your marriage vows sworn?

We need official stamps that go ONLY RIGHT HERE.

And please make sure they are issued THIS YEAR.

We need letters from pals and your snide neighbor.

All of them need to be gushing in your favor.

Have them all signed, by a notary officer for small fees.

Oh and can they send those in quickly please?!

You have a job, and just enough dollars before taxes.

Please make sure your W-2 are included in the faxes.

Can your boss promise your job is forever?

Could your CEO mention your quite focused and clever?

Family photos with smiling faces.

The country prefers to see you in different places.

Show your house, your vacations are moot.

Do not send pictures in a bathing suit!

Photos must be picked with great care.

Are you truly happy? How is your hair!?

Medical exams- call your doctor stat.

You look a little pale, and unfortunately a bit fat.

Have you ever had a nose bleed, operation or sprained knee.

Let’s check your hearing, and are you sure you can see?

Thirty years ago, you had a bit of gas

Are you sure your stomach issues are part of your past?

We also noted in 1943 you took a small pill

Have you ever used that refill?

We are going to need a bit of blood – only 3 liters or four please

And lab work for all the STDs.

Depression or anxiety is not so great.

But after this, we can prescribe Xanax as you wait.

Now, please assure us you past been free from dope?

And please check “no” anti-depressants to cope.

Blood work is clean, and the Doctor’s signature is quite clear.

But can bring your notary officer here?

The i800a approval is now needed for your dossier paperwork.

Unfortunately your assigned officer is a bit of a jerk.

Begging his approval is truly needed

But he doesn’t care despite how you have pleaded.

He has many days to complete this, and will take them all.

“Thank you for your patience and we do NOT appreciate your call. “

DOSSIER DONE

This is good – progress has been made!

Only a few more steps and fees to be paid.

Well just this step to be done.

This is only the first of 3456 and 1.

Documentation, Certification, Authentication,

Contact different divisions of the nation.

The State has the special seal.

Fedex and UPS can track the deal.

A tracking number could see…

If the package ends up in western Tennessee.

Of course a courier will cost a bit more.

But does guarantee it makes it in the door.

No, we can not say with certainty

If the seal will take 1 week or 43.

Off to the US consulate after the State –

Whether it was stamped at one 1 or 68

If the papers can get back here it is better

So we can send them for Dept of State cover letter.

Good news the Dept of State agrees

The States did their job and earned their fees.

Off to the KALAMZOO Embassy across the street

But remember it takes 3 weeks, to go those 4 feet.

Back to the agency, so you can finally sleep

Papers return to the agency to keep.

Keep of course for a day or three

Because now it is time for DTC.

DTC, DTC you ask?

Three letters – a gargantuan task.

Headed of to a far a land to say

We are to be parents…match away!!!

POST – DTC

LID LID LID – three letters to mean log in date.

Three letters to that say NOW we are ready to wait.

Wait for a match, a child for us

A child to name Bertha, Maxwell or Gus.

We would like a child please, says the LID batch

Approved to wait to match.

They can walk or talk or babble and coo.

Can have a shaved head or a lock of hair or two.

We asked for a child in a range of 0 – 3

How long do you think this wait will be?

Hard to say hard to say

It can be 7 years or any day.

Family and friend in the know.

When do you leave to go??

Can you PLEASE go faster?
This process is a disaster…

I thought you would be done…

This is no longer fun!

I will call tomorrow again around three

To ask “How much longer will this be?”

I have no idea how long this waited is fated

Certainly can’t happen until we are translated

Change our dossier into each CALAMZOO word

90 days to do that is seems absurd.

OOT is a big step. Its move you to another WAIT

When the match happens to have a LSC date.

And now the greatest wait of all.

Waiting for THE CALL.

The call where the agency will say

We found your baby today!

Special rings, special tone

Don’t go anywhere without the phone!

The call it could be coming soon.

1 am,, 4 pm or noon.

The call! The call it is here!

She says he is perfect have no fear.

His file is safe and locks.

Hurry hurry to your inbox.

Scramble scramble download please.

Butterflies and shaking knees.

Refresh refresh it’s THE FILE

3 minutes is too long a while.

Open and there they are.

Sitting with blocks and red car.

Look at her smile, her eyes twinkle.

One tooth and a tiny dimple.

Fuzzy photos, and words galore.

Call a doctor to learn more.

I know you already, it’s done.

You are already my son.

I have seen the little girl

I can love across the world.

It is done. Forget the consultation

I am sending the LOI to her nation.

We are done. She is ours

The LOI is sent within hours.

When will KALAMAZOO say

She is ours forever from this day.

Three more letters – LOA

Waiting waiting for that day.

Average wait 10 days to 253

Stalking timelines hoping to see.

Did she get hers? Am I next too?

That was fast – what did they do?

Pass the time with buying

Credit cards swipe with deep sighing.

Is this her size? Maybe too small?

How many bottles do I need in all?

Blankets, shoes, and toys.

Blocks, and cars for little boys

Sweet dresses, bows, and shoes

So many cute things how to choose.

Four months to travel in all

18 months or 2T for the fall?

She likes a doll the file said.

Is she in a crib or bed?

Guess and hope you get it right.

Shopping and waiting the end is in sight.

It’s here, it’s here – time to go!

Silly mama there is so much more you know!

Jokes on you when LOA arrives

The 800 has 14 pages – surprise!!
Papers again sit in piles.

Asking now to travel thousands of miles.

Visas, Appointments all are needed

To get a flight on which your seated.

Papers returned, and now you travel

This is when you begin to unravel.

Hotels, flights, translators, and guide

What time is it on that side?

Book, pay, pack and GO!!

No more waiting – don’t be slow.

Two weeks later on your way.

It is departure day.

Flying miles, hotel is small.

You don’t care about anything at all.

Nervous hands, weird food.

Nothing matters in this mood.

Wake up and today is your day.

The baby is on her way.

Cars arrived, chaos and tears.

Giggles, and calming fears.

Waited so long.

But now you are where you belong.

All the waiting all the papers for this.

First hug, first kiss.

All the work – this is what is all was for.

To love you forever more.

All the three-letter waits we had to do

Lead us to the important one Y -O -U.